One of my workmates shared a really interesting article back in early August about Google stats on cost priorities for countries based on their most frequent searches and this one really made me laugh. Of course, I had no idea back then how amazingly accurate Google’s stats would be …
If I’m friends with you on Facebook, you would no doubt know the incredibly amazing news. That’s right, folks! Maybe it’s something in the water, the fresh air, the change in temperature or the simple fact that we preoccupied ourselves with taking a chance and setting up a new life overseas in NZ – whatever the contributing factor, the outcome is that we are expecting a little bundle of joy at the end of next March!
To say NIH and I are absolutely over the moon but still a little shell-shocked is a slight understatement. We’ve spent the better part of six years hoping and dreaming yet having those hopes smashed repeatedly. To have it all happening now seems so surreal that I keep the first ultrasound picture of Little Miss at 9 weeks (a wee blob with a fluttering heartbeat) on the fridge to remind me every day that it’s actually happening and not just my wild imagination.
To be honest, I believe this all came about because we shook things up. We decided that if we couldn’t have the adventure of children, we’d do something else life-changing instead, such as moving overseas to live and work. We got side-tracked with new environments, new jobs and a new way of life. Funny how many people have recently told me they went through similar experiences to have the same outcome.
And one other thing happened to change my inner belief system …
When you have fertility issues, you never give up. Not really. It’s a bit like grieving for a lost loved one. The pain is always there inside you but as time goes by the ache becomes a little duller and easier to handle. You’ll see a small child being cute (as they do) out in public and look at each other a little wistfully – a “wouldn’t it be nice” moment. But it’s ok. You can cope.
On a whim one day, I typed in ‘pregnant at 47’ and the first result back was a little story on one of those babymama websites from a woman here in New Zealand (not far from Hamilton actually) who was turning 50 and had a gorgeous 2.5 year old. They’d started late and tried for about 6 years to have a child. Medical professionals couldn’t find anything physically wrong and the multiple miscarriages were put down to a result of old eggs.
Then, out of the blue, she became pregnant and successfully delivered a baby girl with no issues or complications. She had written on the forum, she said, to give others a bit of hope.
It really affected me. In the back of my mind, I’d always held onto the belief that I was too old. That I was being greedy to want more children, since I already had three lovely fully-grown kids. That I was completely crazy to think it would ever happen. But after reading that little story that had oh-so-many correlations with our experiences, my beliefs changed. And about three months after … well, you’ve seen the photo.
I can only hope that my little story, such that it is still a work in progress for now, can have the same effect on others like me.