I’m on a man hunt

seriouslyYes, I am still happily married. No, it’s not for me personally … well, not in the way you might think. Let me explain …

I am a recently returned member to the local amateur theatre company in our small town. We’re called a ‘little theatre’ and we’re not being modest. It’s housed in a tiny little house in the middle of suburbia. The stage is small; the bar is small; the room, even without the tables and chairs set up, is small. And somehow, they’ve managed to carry on getting up to 80 people on a sold out night to laugh whilst digging into a three course meal and sometimes ludicrous amounts of alcohol for a total of 60 years this year.

There’s been a few changes since I first trod the boards there back in ’07. The kitchen is now industrial level (and almost as big as the seating area) and the new toilets are wheelchair-accessible and you don’t need to tramp out the back of the building and line up in the dark to use them.

Another thing that has changed in recent years is the membership, dropping from dozens to barely a handful … which is where my dilemma comes in.

I took a hiatus for two years but now that I have plenty of time on my hands work from home, I really wanted to get back into it, preferably on stage (because God and those around me know I am a shameless show pony). I turned up to an audition call in early March but there were only a few others there – not enough for a full cast (and one was just there for moral support). Then the director had a rethink about directing, which I totally understand. It’s a huge commitment for a few months and sometimes you just can’t do everything you want to – besides, she’s been one of the handful trying to prop up the group.  She, like the rest of them, is pooped and needs a break.

So, long story … long … I’m now the new director.

And I have a totally awesome play that I love and I know the local community will get a lot of laughs out of, not to mention the cast.

The cast that I don’t have. Yet. And it’s May. Ideally, we should be doing at least two productions a year. At this rate, we’ll be lucky to bang out one.

It requires 8 people – 4 females; 4 males.

I’ve got three and a half females (the half is that she turned up for an audition. I gave her a script to read to consider a role. She hasn’t come back.). I just need 4 blokes and we are ready to rumble.

I’ve already gone past accosting male friends and acquaintances in the street. I’m now onto accosting complete strangers in the hopes of getting some testosterone on the stage by the end of this year.  Shameless, I know. Luckily, NIH understands (although he won’t get up on stage and to be honest, I don’t think I could direct him without it getting bloody.)

Have you ever had a project that makes you wonder why you’re battering your head against the wall and don’t just lay down and give up?  This is starting to remind me of the whole IVF debacle. The only thing that’s missing is the pricks …